Well, the title of this article is a bit of a misnomer as no one can really tell you the secret to a happy marriage; however, as divorce attorneys we do know the most common reasons for couples to seek a divorce because when seeking the advice of an experienced attorney to help with divorce mediation in San Diego we hear it all.

The most common causes of divorce from the perspective of a divorce attorney are:

    • Infidelity
    • Domestic violence / abuse
    • Money problems
    • Substance abuse
    • Children


Infidelity can of course be crushing to a relationship when the trust is lost. As divorce attorneys in San Diego we frequently hear that infidelity is the driving factor for the failed relationship. Infidelity can create a great deal of animosity which in turn can create a very contentious divorce. An experienced divorce attorney may be able to help you think more rationally in your divorce case or in mediation and thinking rationally obviously can increase chances of a better outcome for you and your family.

Abuse and Domestic Violence and Substance abuse

Abuse, Domestic Violence, and substance abuse are other frequently seen causes of divorces. Often times the abused or sober spouse has endured abuse for many years and is caught up in what is called the cycle of violence. Often the victim mentality can hinder a spouse’s ability to think clearly during a divorce case as can the effects of substance abuse. Our attorneys are experienced in both helping spouses seek the protections of a restraining order and also in how to navigate negotiations and litigation when domestic violence or substance abuse is present in a marriage.

Money Problems

Some statistics suggest money problem is the number one (1) cause for a marital relationship to fail. A shortage of money, secrecy about money, crushing debts, and spending money on frivolous things or gambling are all ways in which money can interfere with a marital relationship. Divorce attorneys in San Diego frequently hear “my spouse is hiding money”, or “I cannot afford to pay their debts” during divorce proceedings. We have tools to discovery “hidden” money and the courts have punishment mechanisms for those who truly are attempting to secret assets from their spouses. Oftentimes, it is simply a matter of getting the spouse who doesn’t handle the finances a clear picture of what assets and debts exist. An experienced divorce attorney or divorce mediator in San Diego can help you understand your finances and how to divide them fairly.


As much as we love our children, they can be a source of stress for parents. As divorce attorneys we hear relationships ending due to disagreements about parental roles, parenting styles, or one parent feeling alone in the parenting responsibilities. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney in San Diego to assist you with your custody and visitation issues early on in the case can be of great assistance. Once a visitation schedule is set it can be difficult to undo. Additionally, without the assistance of a divorce attorney you will not fully understand your rights or the types of behavior the family court judges want to see from separated parents. There are many pitfalls in custody disputes you should seek to avoid.


Divorce attorneys or divorce mediators in San Diego do not have all the answers about how to save a relationship, but they sure know the reasons marriages fail. Maybe something in this article will help you avoid common pitfalls to give you a happy marriage; however, if not we can certainly help you navigate your divorce through mediation or litigation in the most efficient and amicable way possible.